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Fun With Grammar (Part 1)

Posted in January 4th, 2009
by Opiate in Evil Things, Fun With Grammar, Language, Lists

Here’s a list of common grammatical issues:

1.) There/Their/They’re

“There” refers to location: I was fleeing a murderous furry. There he is! Over there!
“Their” is a possessive pronoun: I admire their meticulously clean pubic hair scarves.
“They’re” is a contraction, short for “they are”: They’re on fire. No, I don’t mean [...]

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How to be a Successful Evil Overlord

Posted in July 12th, 2008
by Opiate in Evil Things, Lists

This is a foolproof list of one-hundred things to keep in mind as you venture forth on the Evil Overlord career path. It’s very thorough, barring a single omission — one, absolutely essential piece of advice that could have saved many a failed Evil Overlord:
101. Don’t give crazy a baby.

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Urinal Etiquette

Posted in June 28th, 2008
by Opiate in Evil Things, Lists, Rants/Tirades

It has come to my attention that a large segment of the male population in these United States is unaware of basic urinal etiquette, so I thought I’d offer my assistance. I was inspired to write this post about a week ago when I noticed a urinal here in Oklahoma covered in a disturbing [...]

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Shakespearean Insult Kit

Posted in June 18th, 2008
by Opiate in Evil Things, Lists

Have at you, you fat-kidneyed canker-blossom.

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Failed Indiana Jones Titles

Posted in June 1st, 2008
by Opiate in Evil Things, Lists

1.) Indiana Jones and the Yurt of the Maligned Lemur

2.) Indie J. and the Cockpunchers
3.) Indiana Jones and the Quiet Agony of Old Age
4.) Dude, Where’s My Heart?
5.) Jones, Indiana: a Bukkake Musical
6.) Indie and Me: the Curse of the Jade Scrotum

7.) Indiana Jones and [...]

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